If you pick up any biography, you will find two elements in every author’s story. These two elements are what make the story worth reading. The first element is their wins. We love to read stories of other people succeeding in life! Especially if that success came after significant obstacles. But the other element in every story is the most essential. This essential element is failure.
Why would we care if someone was successful at something if they are always successful at everything? I can’t relate to that, can you?
Probably not because I am assuming that you are a human being like me…and we are all hopelessly flawed!
Reading about other people’s failures is one thing, but dealing with your failures is an entirely different scenario here in the real world!
A Deep Philosophical Discussion On Failure (just kidding)
A great book called Mindset by Carol Dweck talks about failure and why some people succeed at overcoming challenges while others don’t.
In a nutshell, there are two mindsets, fixed and growth. A growth mindset assumes that you can overcome any challenge through work and determination. A fixed mindset sees your ability as unchanging, and you can either do something or you can’t. If you try something and fail, you just quit and move on.
In other words, the difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is their mindset.
Is life always that simple? No, absolutely not! But this theory is a great starting point because it helps you change your perspective and approach when it comes to failure.
Succeeding at something new requires risk.
The risk of failure. Cringe
But what does failure mean?
To some, failure means not being successful at something you tried. To others, failure doesn’t happen until you quit trying. I find myself sitting on the fence between both perspectives.
Yes, you can fail at something the first time you try, and you can also fail repeatedly. To me, those all count as failures. But I don’t regret a failure unless I have given up on trying.
If I continue to fail in trying to succeed, I don’t regret failure; I embrace it as part of the journey to success.
So what does this philosophical discussion on mindset and failure have to do with stitching?
I’m so glad you asked!!
Failure Is Essential To Success
A few months ago, I decided to crochet a baby tennis shoe.
It did not go well…
By the fourth failure…ahem…I mean prototype, I gave up. The pictures on Pinterest of excellently hand-crafted baby tennis shoes, complete with laces, were obviously stitched by wizards.
But, here’s the thing. I may still make a baby tennis shoe; I haven’t given up. But even if I don’t, that process of starting over, again and again, tweaking my technique, changing my approach, writing new patterns, and going through the creation process over and over, was invaluable to my shoemaking ability!
I can now pick up a hook and yarn and stitch the sole to a shoe from memory in multiple sizes. That skill transferred seamlessly into being able to create a rectangle basket without a pattern.
I have gone on to design a whole set of different baby shoes and gifted them to my sister for her new baby.
All because I failed so many times to crochet a tennis shoe.
Failure is growth. You will learn more from failing than you will ever learn from succeeding, which is how you grow.
It Gets Even Better
Success has its benefits, too, like building confidence.
Small successes pave the road to more significant opportunities for success. As you succeed at a tiny thing, your confidence, a.k.a. your risk tolerance, grows to try something more meaningful and riskier.
Like a baby taking its first steps, they are unsteady at first, and many are terrified to let go of the helping hand holding them up. Many stand there in disbelief that they are standing on their own. Their first unsteady steps end in falling. Then they try again, and they might make it a step further. Soon their confidence grows, and they start to take off on their own without trepidation, and before you know it, they can walk many steps on their own. All too soon, they are running, and then the real fun begins!
But all of the success came after overcoming the fear, taking the risk, and failing numerous times.
The same is true for you.
You have to overcome fear, take the risk, and fail more than once whenever you try something new. But, on the other hand, any success you enjoy builds confidence, gives you the experience to build on, and launches you forward to try more critical and complicated things. Pretty cool!
Failure Is Your Friend
Your perspective about taking risks and facing challenges changes as you gain confidence and grow. The projects you kept messing up and seemed overwhelming five years ago probably seem small and simple today. That’s the power of failure!
No one likes to fail because it feels terrible at the moment. It can be frustrating to fail at the same thing over and over. You might feel like it’s simply not worth the frustration you’re dealing with now to get to the success.
But it’s not just the success you are missing out on if you quit. You will miss out on all the experience that comes from trying again, along with the increased threshold for feelings of frustration that only comes from allowing yourself to be frustrated and continually pushing forward. But, you also learn that disappointment is not the end of the world…and that’s really important.
So do this excellent service for yourself and start something new. Download the pattern for that big scary sweater, purchase the beautiful yarn you always drool over at the store, buy that Tunisian hook you feel inspired to try out, and get started. Seek out risks so you can grow in confidence, and seek out opportunities to fail so you can celebrate the joy of success.
If you are ready to start your stitching journey, click here to get on my schedule for a Solo Stitching Class. I can’t wait to meet you and see where your journey takes you.
Happy stitching!
xo — Lavena
